The New Atari VCS Johnny Tenspeed's Bicycle Emporium

Jose Canseco vs. Everything You Know About How Baseball Works

Posted May 2, 2018 by Ric Pryor

You can tell Steve Garvey vs. Jose Canseco Grand Slam Baseball was designed by someone who never actually witnessed a baseball game because the control scheme includes a way to throw the ball to the center fielder.

Steve Garvey vs. Jose Canseco Grand Slam Baseball is a terrible, awful game
File Under: Baseball

Statistical Analysis of Atari's Target Market

Posted May 1, 2018 by Ric Pryor

With crowdfunding pre-ordering for the new Atari VCS set to begin at the end of the month, let's take a look at who will gladly pay now for a console next year.

Statistical analysis of Atari's target market
File Under: Ataribox

Announcement Announcing Announcement Announced

Posted April 30, 2018 by Ric Pryor

The new Atari VCS. Pay now, play later.

Atari SA (not to be confused with Atari Inc., Atari Corp. or Atari Games) announced today that pre-sales of its new VCS console (formerly the Ataribox) will begin May 30th with packages starting at $199. Other, presumably more expensive packages, will include your choice of the not-finished-yet modern controller or the still-in-development classic joystick.

In addition to possibly including a working controller, each VCS comes pre-loaded with a selection of over 100 classic Atari games. For a complete list of included games, look at the back of the box your Atari Flashback came in.

Consoles are expected to ship beginning in the spring of 2019. The pre-sale, which is definitely not a crowdfunding campaign, will be handled exclusively by popular crowdfunding site Indiegogo.

File Under: Ataribox

Atari VCS Ad #2: Nintendon't

Posted April 29, 2018 by Ric Pryor

In just one day, Atari SA's self-imposed deadline to announce their next announcement will pass with no announcement announced. Unless they announce that they officially have nothing to announce, which I guess technically would count as an announcement.

Ataribox Does What Nintendon't
File Under: Ataribox

Fake Video Games I'd Play If They Were Real: Cheese Viking

Posted April 28, 2018 by Ric Pryor

In this scene from Nightwing: Rebirth #1, Dick Grayson (Robin number 1) and Damian Wayne (Robin number...4? 5?) stop at the Secret Headquarters Arcade to shoot the shit and play Damian's favorite game: Cheese Viking.

A video game that lets you control an axe-wielding wedge of cheese and do so with what appears to be a theremin-like, hands-off control scheme is literally the coolest thing I've seen in a DC comic in at least ten years.

File Under: Vikings

Atari VCS Ad #1: G.I. Joe

Posted April 27, 2018 by Ric Pryor

Since the new Atari VCS (formerly the Ataribox) was announced in June of 2017, we have learned exactly two things about it. First, pre-ordering did not begin in December. Second, pre-ordering will not begin in April. While this may be a disappointment to any of you who had planned to reserve your console, it does free up some cash to spend on tacos. Crunchy or soft. I won't judge.

G.I. Joe says 'Buy tacos, not Ataribox.'
File Under: Ataribox

Match the Gorilla with the Atari 2600 Game

Posted April 26, 2018 by Ric Pryor

The Atari 2600 port of Donkey Kong is infamous for its gingerbread-man-like titular ape, but that graphical ambiguity isn't unique to Donkey Kong. See if you can match the gorilla sprite on the left with the correct VCS game on the right.

File Under: Primatology
<NEWER | 1 | 2 | 3 |